Unintentional Collections

I wonder if some hoarding is simply unintentional collecting.

Here are some of mine:

Picture Frames



And these are the ones NOT currently being used. (I have a ton more on the walls and shelves of my home).

Shoes





And those are just half of the shoes I own. (many more in the closet and a roll away tote under the bed). Yes, I am a self confessed shoe fanatic.

Apparently I also collect unmatched socks?



At last count, there were 72 unmatched socks.
Yeah... don't ask.

I have several very used old candles:



I can't seem to throw away old makeup:



And have an attraction to containers.
I heard once that hoarders like to collect containers to store things in. "I don't believe I do that." I thought to myself. WRONG. As I looked around I found that I do in fact seem to collect containers! Like storage totes, and


Canisters & Jars:



Some might call me a basket case:



And those are just the ones NOT filled with stuff. I have baskets all throughout my home. They hold video's in our entertainment center:



I have baskets in A's room for her pretty little things:



And on the shelves in N's room for his toys:



I have a basket by the door for hats and gloves:



And baskets on the stairs for things that need to be put away:



And it's empty! (so proud) I see that one toy didn't make it to its intended destination though.

I collect journals:

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And I use them all too! I have a gardening journal, a mothering journal for each of the kids, a 'Thankful' journal, a 'lessons learned' journal, a spiritual journal, a poetry journal, a marriage journal, a home decorating and improvement journal... well, you get the idea. :)

I also hold onto all of my old journals:



I have to include stuffed animals in this list of collections. Here is why:




Care to play "I Spy" anyone? I spied at least five Elmo's. And maybe four Cookie Monster's? Several stuffed animals missing limbs or tails and one that was even missing it's head!

Sure, those need to go! But what do I do with the cute novelty ones? How could I get rid of the ones that MEAN something?

I spy a pirate:




I spy a stuffed home made monster (made by my son and I when he was 3):



I spy a pound puppy named Clarence that I have had since I was a child and named after my now deceased Grandfather:



I spy my favorite child hood toy, a bear named Bubbles, who is sitting next to N's stuffed bear sheriff made with love by his "Mom-Mom":



I spy my son's beloved tiger that he called a "Lanoo" as an infant (His baby talk for lion):




I don't want to sound cavalier or as if I am proud of these collections. I'm not. I will admit that I'm not as bothered by my excess as you might be, but I do acknowledge that it's a problem.

I don't know how ready I am to actually get rid of some of it (or all of it). The socks might seem to be the most obvious choice. But as I stare at the row of unmatched socks I can only think, "Wait. Didn't I see that mate under a bed somewhere?" and then back into the sock bag it goes.


I have so many more 'collections' that it would need a separate blog post to list them all. Maybe another day.

sigh...

On and on it goes.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Unintentionally collecting,
Julie

overwhelmed

2 steps forward.

2 steps back...

I am struggling to maintain what I have done so far. The baby boy clothes all left the house. My areas that I have cleared, I am fighting to keep clear. But clutter keeps creeping back in.

Today, I sat discouraged as I realized EACH AREA has several things sitting in it that need to be taken care of. I was determined to tackle these things right away. But then I realized that I hadn't checked on the upstairs all day. The kids were up there playing away in already cluttered play area and bedrooms.

Exhausted from a busy and emotional weekend, I climbed the stairs and tried to tell myself that the hour and a half left before my husband got home would be a wonderfully productive end to my day.

I was greeted by chaos in toy land. I couldn't see my daughter's floor. She had pulled out every piece of clothing from her dresser drawers and they were laying all over. Every toy was dumped out and I stepped on dolls and My Little Pony's and play dishes as I plundered through it all in disbelief.

My son's room looked like a tornado had come through. Legos and transformers... All manner of small toys in their millions of pieces and parts were strewn across the carpet. The blankets ripped almost all the way off his bed. I couldn't open the door all the way and realized his pillows and some clothing were blocking my entrance.

On the verge of tears, I ordered a mass clean up.

They are struggling. Floundering, up there. Attempting to make order out of the chaos that is their living situation. Yes, chaos they created, but I take responsibility for the fact that my children are comfortable living like this, playing like this, without any thought to the mess and without the tools they need to clean up.

They don't clean properly. I have tried and tried to teach them. I have baskets for them on shelves for each toy. I made sure to get rid of old toys they have outgrown and thrown away broken toys. Each toy has a place. I have helped them so many times... more times than I can count. And it exhausts me each time. I can't put into words...

It makes my chest feel tight and I just swallow hard and try to not look like I'm on the verge of a break down. But I'm so overwhelmed that I had to walk away just now. They are upstairs. I doubt any progress has been made.

I had to come and just vent.
Thanks for listening... whoever you are.

Maybe I can make 2 steps forward tomorrow? There's always reason to hope.

Just in Case...

Had a great chat with a family member recently. I opened up about my hoarding and explained the process I am in with purging my home of the clutter and purging my head of wrong thinking about my stuff.

She asked what kind of stuff I hang onto. I answered her right away because I had already identified the two categories. "Sentimental" things... things that have sentimental value to me and therefore I assign emotional value to it and have trouble letting it go. And "Just in Case" things. Things that I believe I may need, or someone else may need one day.

The Just in Case is what is out of control more than anything else.

Confession time:
At last count, I have 72 socks that have lost their match. I keep them (for years? gulp.) in the hopes that their true match will one day find it's way back into our lives.

I have 1 1/2 bins of wrapping paper, bows, ribbons and gift bags. Just in case I should ever need them. The funny thing is that some of the gift bags, etc. that are in there I have had in my possession since the first year I was married.

I have over 20 purses. Just in case I should need that small silver glittery one the next time I go on a cruise, the small black one that matches a perfect black dress that doesn't fit me any more, and a brown leopard one with patent handle that will go perfect with brown patent peep toes that I have looked for at stores for over 2 years now. ...

I have the hard drive to a computer that died 3 years ago. The drive pretty much melted and the data on it couldn't be retrieved. I kept it though. My daughters baby pictures are on it. Things I had been working on were on that drive. Maybe one day technology will find a way to bring it back to life? Or I will have the $1000 it would take to send it to a computer hard drive hospital and have it re built.
Just in Case.

I have a suit case with the zipper broken on it.

I have clothes that are 2 sizes too small for me.

I have bins and boxes of hobbies I haven't picked up in years. Scrapbooking, piano books, etc.

I have 11 earrings that don't have their match.

I have 2 totes full of craft items from the 1990's.

I have boxes of magazines that have recipes and household tips that I thought I may need... one day. But thinking about it now, they are from the 1990's or earlier. Chances are they won't even apply to my life or my style by the time I finally go through them.

...

It's a "Just In Case" epidemic at my home.

But, "you never know", I think. "Someone might need this stuff one day."

I talk myself into keeping it. If I happen to be smart and throw it out, I keep thinking about that item in the trash. It keeps bugging me and doesn't stop until its gone with the garbage truck.

It is hard to let these things go. I can't explain why. I can't describe the feeling. I feel foolish just talking about it. There is fear behind it, this I know. There is a control that I don't want to give up. And more than that, there is the desire to meet a need. A need of my own, and also the needs of my family and friends. I just love coming the rescue with an item for someone. "Where in the world did you get that?" they ask.
"oh, I happened to hang onto it... Just in Case."

Under the Pile... of baby clothes

One of the things I knew I would one day have to face is the sorting and giving away of baby clothes. My children are now ages 8 and 5 and I have kept and stored and labeled all of their clothes from birth to now. So much has been given to us and we have purchased a bit of it too. I loved combing through garage sales when they were little and finding great deals on cute clothes for them to run around in.

I shoved tote after tote in the attic of our home. When we moved, they all came with us (much to the displeasure of my husband). I told him (and myself) that one day my sisters would have children and I would pass the clothes on then.

That day has come. My one sister is adopting a little girl, so all my girl clothes can go to her. Another sister is expecting a baby boy in the Spring. My 8 year old son won't be needing that cute 0-3 month old sleeper ever again. Time to give it all up.

...

It is harder than I thought.

I want to tell them to take care of these things.

I wonder if they know how precious they are to me.

I wonder if they realize all the emotions and memories that are bound up in these little things. The sweet little sweaters, the booties, the hats. I found little shoes that I remember trying to tie onto my sons feet as he kicked and kicked. He giggled the whole time, he loved making it hard on mommy to get those shoes on his feet.

Of course they won't know. They don't realize. But these things are just clothes after all. I know that one of my issues is assigning emotional value to things. This is a prime example, I guess. I need to keep moving and just do it.

It's easier for me to give things away that mean a lot to me, when I know that I mean a lot to the other person. When I question if they value me or not, then it's hard to give things I value to them.

I have so much that I'm feeling right now. I wanted to just put it all off, walk away from the piles and drown my sorrows in a cup of chai.

But I have hauled down every single tote from the attic and I am not bringing it back up. I'm determined to move forward... one onesie, one sleeper, one bootie at a time.

A New Year...

But the same me.

I am finding that my mind is constantly attempting to organize itself.

It WANTS to clean out the clutter.

I was delighted to discover that I do have SOME sense of organization when I unpacked my Christmas decorations this year. Boxes were packed by room. The tree decorations had it's own box. And my boxes were all green totes so they were easy to identify... that is, all 13 of them.

Yep. 1 normal size house. Family of 4. But 13 large green storage totes of Christmas decorations.

Somehow my organizational mind went hay wire.

How did I get like this?

Maybe I'll figure out how and why and what I have to do to end it in 2011.

One can only hope.